Gay & Cheating
by Wongvhan
Summary: A conversation between Dean & Castiel. Featuring Destiel Shipper!Sam Winchester. A part of 'Gay Series' which can be read as a stand alone.


"I've already called and made an appointment for you and Cas. You guys just show up and pretend to be a gay married couple. That's it." Riding shotgun seat, Sam shrugged like Dean and Castiel pretending to be a couple did not bother him one bit. Of course it didn't. Sam wasn't the one who had to keep up the pretense.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. Still think the FBI method works better anyway." Dean shook his head. Eyes on the road. Brain's doing the maths because seriously, it seemed like Sam had developed a fetish over the Dean and Castiel's non-existant marriage lately. "Me and Cas. High school sweetheart. Married for 13 years. We run a bakery. Blah blah blah." Dean sighed before sparing a glance at his brother. "You wanna tell me why JD and Turk need to see a marriage counselor? What's the idea, Sasquatch?"

Sam shrugged again, "I don't know. You cheated on him?"

Dean stomped the brake and the car did a little drifted. Sam had a mini-heart attack. Anyway, Dean did not pull a stop. If anything, he just sped up. This time, he did not look so much at the road but pointing his finger at Sam's face. "How about a fucking NO?" Despite his tone, Sam could see clearly that Dean was mad. Not angry-mad. Kinda like crazy shithead-mad. "Seriously, Sammy. Come up with a better idea! You're supposed to be 'the brain' here."

"I'm sorry, Dean. I just..." Sam threw up his hands in defeat but Dean did not give him a chance to apologize since he kept on rambling.

"It's enough that now you'd have us hitched at every chance you get. Cas's cool with that. I'm cool with that." Dean spoke with his right hand all over the place instead of on the wheel. "But having me cheating on Cas? Sam. I would not do that to the guy."

"Neither would I, Dean"

A familiar grave voice suddenly came from the supposedly empty backseat. Dean hit the brake again and the Impala lapped to another lane before it got back on track.

"Jesus Christ, Cas! Make a sound!"

"I did." Castiel frowned.

"He did." Sam seconded and turn to Castiel. "You heard us, right? We're investigating a weird serial murder here and the victims all had some connection with this counselor but we don't want to expose ourselves so I was thinking about sending you and Dean in..."

"As a married couple." Castiel finished the sentence.

Dean cussed under his breath. "Look. I understand if you don't want to do this."

"I'm glad to be of use."

"Good." Dean could not wait for the conversation to end.

Which meant that it wasn't over for Castiel. Not yet.

"You cheated on me."

"What!? No!"

"Dean, I appreciate the sentiment. But it is logical and believable." Castiel looked like he had Dean's personality analysed already. He had.

For the third time, Sam shrugged.

"Shut up, Sam", Dean barked.

"I didn't say anything."

"And _that_ isn't anything?" Dean stopped Sam and looked at the rear mirror to meet Castiel's unyielding gaze. "Why the hell did you think like that?"

"Why would I think otherwise?"

"He's got a point, Dean. You're kinda a manwhore." Sam still sided with Castiel.

"Hey, I quit that. And shut up." Dean countered.

"But you still look for temporary lovers. I believe it's called 'Chasing tails'?'" Castiel pointed out.

Dean sighed. "Dude, if we were actually married. Me checking out girls would not mean that I want to get in their pants."

"You linger when talking to them." Castiel said as-a-matter-of- fact-ly.

"It was for information. WORKS." Dean could not even keep his eyes on the road anymore. "Can't you give me a little credit here!? Hello. 13 years. Remember?"

Sam just wanted to remind Dean that he and Castiel were not actually a gay couple, but he wasn't sure anymore.

"13 Years and you might miss vaginas" With a perfect indifference, Castiel nodded.

"What!?" Dean could not believe what he was hearing. He pulled over roughly and Sam almost crashed with the front console. He did not sit up straight, though. Just stayed bent and cover his ears. Dean, certain that his brother is okay, turned to face Castiel and said with more intensity than usual. "Now you listen to me, Honeybee."

Dean inhaled and started. "I was a manwhore once. Fine. I am a manwhore. I admit it. I like pussy. Boobs are great and you have none. But you know what?" Dean paused. He did not blink even once. "I will never cheat on you. Not now. Not ever. Not in this life or the one Sam made up. So, you or sasquatch here'd better find some other goddamned issue for our cover coz' I'm sure as hell not gonna be gay and cheating on you, Cas"

Sam still curled in his own seat and the car dropped dead quiet at the statement.

"What's that smile for?" Dean asked. Even though they were holding an eye contact, there was something about it that changed and Dean was smart enough not to think and just mentioned it out loud.

The corner of Castiel's lip curved, and he looked ten years younger in that ugly beige trench coat "For what it's worth, Dean. It would be an honor being your husband." He said it with such confident and pride that radiated within the confined space of the Impala.

Dean snorted but was unable to look away. "The honor would be mine too, Cas."

Meanwhile, Sam had everything from 'honeybee' recorded. For blackmailing purpose, of course.


End file.
